Pro Se Guide

How to Create a Parenting Plan

A parenting plan is a written agreement that outlines how divorced or separated parents will share time with and make decisions for their children. It covers physical custody schedules, legal decision-making authority, holiday arrangements, and communication protocols. Courts require parenting plans in all divorces involving minor children, and will impose one if parents cannot agree.

Last updated: February 2026 • Reviewed by Divorce.law Legal Team

Understanding Custody Types

Legal Custody

The right to make major decisions about your child's life, including:

  • Education (school choice, special services)
  • Healthcare (doctors, treatments, therapy)
  • Religious upbringing
  • Extracurricular activities

Physical Custody

Where your child lives and the day-to-day schedule, including:

  • Primary residence
  • Weeknight and weekend schedules
  • Overnight arrangements
  • Transportation and exchanges

Joint vs. Sole Custody

Joint Custody

Both parents share responsibility. Joint legal custody means both make major decisions together. Joint physical custody means children spend significant time with both parents (not necessarily 50/50).

Sole Custody

One parent has primary responsibility. Typically granted when the other parent is absent, unfit, or when joint custody would not serve the child's best interests. The other parent usually still has visitation rights.

Common Custody Schedules

50/50 Schedules (Equal Time)

Week On / Week Off

Child spends one full week with each parent, alternating.

Best for: Older children, parents who live close by, flexible work schedules

2-2-3 Schedule

2 days with Parent A, 2 days with Parent B, 3 days back to Parent A. Alternates weekly.

Best for: Young children who need frequent contact with both parents

3-4-4-3 Schedule

3 days, 4 days, 4 days, 3 days rotating between parents.

Best for: Parents wanting more consistency than 2-2-3 but frequent exchanges

5-2-2-5 Schedule

5 days with one parent, 2 days with other, then reverse. Each parent has same weekdays.

Best for: Work schedules requiring consistent weekday availability

Primary Custody Schedules (60/40 or 70/30)

Every Other Weekend + Weeknight

Non-custodial parent has every other weekend (Friday-Sunday) plus one weeknight dinner.

Approximate split: 70/30 or 80/20

Every Other Weekend Extended

Every other weekend from Thursday or Friday through Monday morning.

Approximate split: 60/40

Long-Distance Parenting

When parents live far apart, schedules typically include:

  • Extended summer vacation (4-8 weeks)
  • Alternating school breaks (winter, spring, fall)
  • Regular video calls (daily or several times per week)
  • Transportation cost sharing arrangements

What to Include in Your Parenting Plan

1. Regular Parenting Schedule

  • • Weekday schedule (school nights)
  • • Weekend schedule (including pickup/dropoff times)
  • • Which parent has child on which days
  • • Overnight arrangements

2. Holiday & Special Occasions Schedule

Major Holidays

  • • Thanksgiving
  • • Christmas/Hanukkah/other winter holidays
  • • New Year's Eve/Day
  • • Easter/Passover
  • • Fourth of July
  • • Labor Day / Memorial Day

Special Days

  • • Child's birthday
  • • Mother's Day / Father's Day
  • • Parent's birthdays
  • • School breaks (spring, winter, fall)
  • • Summer vacation
  • • Three-day weekends
Tip: Be specific about times. "Christmas" could mean Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, or both. Specify exact start and end times to avoid confusion.

3. Decision-Making Authority

  • • Education decisions (school enrollment, tutoring, IEPs)
  • • Healthcare decisions (doctors, medications, therapy)
  • • Religious upbringing and activities
  • • Extracurricular activities and sports
  • • Emergency decision procedures
  • • How to handle disagreements (mediation clause)

4. Communication Protocols

  • • How parents will communicate (email, text, co-parenting app)
  • • Child's phone/video calls with other parent during parenting time
  • • How to share school and medical information
  • • Required notice for schedule changes
  • • Rules about discussing divorce/other parent with children

5. Transportation & Exchanges

  • • Exchange location (parent's home, school, neutral location)
  • • Who is responsible for pickup and dropoff
  • • What happens if a parent is late
  • • Transportation cost sharing (especially for long distance)
  • • Who can pick up child (approved persons list)

6. Additional Provisions to Consider

  • • Right of first refusal (offering other parent childcare before a babysitter)
  • • Introduction of new partners to children
  • • Travel notification requirements (especially international)
  • • Social media rules regarding children
  • • Consistency in rules between households (bedtimes, screen time)
  • • Process for modifying the parenting plan
  • • Relocation provisions if a parent wants to move

What Courts Consider: Best Interest Factors

If you cannot agree on a parenting plan, the court will create one based on the "best interests of the child" standard. Judges typically consider:

Child's Preference

If old enough (usually 12+), the child's wishes are considered

Parental Fitness

Physical/mental health, history of abuse or neglect

Stability & Continuity

Keeping child in same school, community, near family

Parent-Child Bond

Quality of relationship, involvement in child's life

Co-Parenting Ability

Willingness to support child's relationship with other parent

Work Schedules

Which parent can provide more direct care

Sibling Relationships

Courts prefer to keep siblings together when possible

Safety Concerns

Domestic violence, substance abuse, criminal history

Tips for Creating an Effective Parenting Plan

Be Specific

Include exact times, dates, and locations. "Christmas" is ambiguous; "December 25th, 9 AM to 7 PM" is clear.

Think Long-Term

Children grow. Build in provisions for modifying the schedule as needs change.

Focus on the Child

Set aside personal feelings. What schedule truly serves your child's best interests?

Build in Flexibility

Life happens. Include language for how to handle schedule changes and emergencies.

Include a Mediation Clause

Agree to try mediation before going to court for future disagreements.

Put It in Writing

Verbal agreements are hard to enforce. Get everything in the court order.

Frequently Asked Questions

Can I modify the parenting plan later?

Yes, parenting plans can be modified if there is a "substantial change in circumstances." This includes changes in work schedules, relocation, changes in the child's needs, or safety concerns. Both parents can agree to modifications, or one parent can petition the court. Minor, temporary changes often don't require court approval.

What if my ex doesn't follow the parenting plan?

Document violations carefully (dates, times, specifics). First, try to resolve issues through communication or mediation. For persistent violations, you can file a motion for contempt with the court. Courts take parenting plan violations seriously and can order make-up time, modify custody, or impose other sanctions.

Do I need a lawyer to create a parenting plan?

Not necessarily. If you and your spouse can agree on custody and scheduling, you can create a parenting plan together and submit it to the court for approval. However, if there are disputes, complex issues, or safety concerns, consulting with an attorney is recommended. Our AI-powered tools can help you create a comprehensive parenting plan.

What's the difference between custody and visitation?

"Custody" typically refers to the parent who has primary responsibility, while "visitation" traditionally meant time with the non-custodial parent. Many courts now use terms like "parenting time" instead to recognize that both parents remain important. The terminology varies by state, but the concepts involve who the child lives with and how decisions are made.

Create Your Parenting Plan

Our AI-powered platform helps you create a comprehensive parenting plan that covers all the important details. Start building a stable future for your children.

Get Started Today