Delaware Family Court requires all divorcing parents with children under age 17 to complete a mandatory 6-8 hour parenting education course costing $50-$100 per parent. This requirement exists because research shows that how parents communicate divorce to their children directly impacts long-term adjustment outcomes. Children whose parents handle the divorce conversation poorly are 1.5 to 2 times more likely to experience academic difficulties, behavioral problems, and depression. This guide provides Delaware-specific legal requirements alongside research-backed strategies for telling children about divorce in the most supportive way possible.
Key Facts: Delaware Divorce With Children
| Requirement | Details |
|---|---|
| Filing Fee | $165 + $10 security fee = $175 total |
| Separation Period | 6 months before divorce granted (13 Del. C. § 1507) |
| Residency Requirement | 6 months continuous residence (13 Del. C. § 1504) |
| Parenting Education | Mandatory 6-8 hour course, $50-$100 per parent |
| Custody Standard | Best interests of the child (13 Del. C. § 722) |
| Property Division | Equitable distribution |
Fee information verified as of March 2026. Verify with your local Delaware Family Court clerk before filing.
When to Tell Your Children About Divorce in Delaware
Delaware parents should tell their children about divorce 1-2 weeks before the filing parent moves out or major household changes occur. Research from the University of Nebraska Extension shows that children cope better when given adequate time to process the news without feeling rushed by immediate disruptions. In Delaware specifically, parents can file the divorce petition before the 6-month separation period has elapsed under 13 Del. C. § 1507(e), meaning you may want to have the conversation even before filing to give your children time to adjust.
The timing conversation in Delaware must also account for the mandatory parenting education requirement. Both parents must enroll in the court-ordered parenting class within 180 days of filing, or the petition may be dismissed. Discussing the divorce with children before this class can actually be beneficial because the education program specifically covers how to communicate with children about separation.
Ideal timing factors include:
- Choosing a day when both parents can be present together for the conversation
- Selecting a time when children do not have school, activities, or social obligations immediately after
- Avoiding holidays, birthdays, or other significant dates
- Allowing at least 2-3 hours for the initial conversation and follow-up questions
- Scheduling the conversation at least one week before any parent plans to move out
How to Tell Kids About Divorce: Age-Appropriate Approaches
Delaware Family Court considers children's developmental stages when making custody determinations under 13 Del. C. § 722, and parents should similarly tailor their divorce conversation to their children's ages. Research published in the Journal of Child and Family Studies indicates that children ages 6-11 are most vulnerable to feelings of guilt and responsibility, while adolescents ages 12-17 are more concerned about social implications and disruptions to their activities.
Toddlers and Preschoolers (Ages 2-5)
Children ages 2-5 understand that something is changing but cannot grasp abstract concepts like marriage dissolution. Research shows approximately 70% of children in this age group exhibit regressive behaviors such as bedwetting, thumb-sucking, or increased clinginess following parental separation. Use simple, concrete language that focuses on what will change in their daily routine.
Sample script for young children: "Mommy and Daddy have decided to live in two different houses now. You will have a bedroom at Mommy's house and a bedroom at Daddy's house. We both love you very, very much, and that will never change. This is not your fault. Grown-ups sometimes need to live apart, but you will always be our child and we will always take care of you."
Key points for this age group:
- Repeat the message that both parents love them
- Use concrete examples of what will stay the same (same school, same friends, same toys)
- Expect to repeat the conversation multiple times over several weeks
- Maintain consistent routines as much as possible
- Watch for regression behaviors and respond with patience, not punishment
Elementary School Age (Ages 6-11)
Children ages 6-11 are at highest risk for believing they caused the divorce. According to research from the Encyclopedia on Early Childhood Development, approximately 80% of school-age children initially believe they could have prevented the divorce through better behavior. In their hearts, the top feelings at this stage are fear and sadness, and many harbor secret hopes that parents will remarry each other.
Sample script for school-age children: "We need to talk to you about something important. Mom and Dad have decided that we will no longer be married to each other. This is absolutely not your fault. Nothing you did or said caused this, and nothing you can do will change our decision. We have worked hard on our relationship, but we have decided that living separately is the best choice for our family. We both love you completely, and we will both always be your parents."
Key points for this age group:
- Directly address guilt by stating multiple times that the divorce is not their fault
- Acknowledge their feelings of sadness and fear as normal
- Explain that some things will change while emphasizing what will stay the same
- Avoid sharing adult details about reasons for the divorce
- Do not ask children to choose sides or relay messages between parents
Adolescents and Teenagers (Ages 12-17)
Teenagers process divorce differently because their primary developmental task is establishing independence from parents. Research indicates that by age 14, most teens feel embarrassed by their parents and may experience humiliation about the divorce in social contexts. Their primary concerns often center on how the divorce will affect their school, social activities, and independence rather than the family unit itself.
Sample script for teenagers: "We have made the difficult decision to divorce. We want you to hear this directly from us, together. This decision is between us as a married couple and has nothing to do with you or your sister. We have thought carefully about this, and we are committed to making sure this affects your life as little as possible. Your school, your activities, and your time with friends will continue. We want to hear your questions and concerns."
Key points for this age group:
- Acknowledge that this is significant news and they may need time to process
- Respect their need for privacy and do not force immediate discussions
- Do not burden them with adult information or treat them as confidants
- Be prepared for anger, withdrawal, or acting out
- Maintain appropriate parental authority and boundaries
What Delaware Law Says About Children and Divorce
Delaware Family Court prioritizes children's wellbeing throughout the divorce process. Under 13 Del. C. § 722, the court determines custody based on the best interests of the child, considering multiple factors including each parent's wishes, the child's wishes (given appropriate weight based on age), the child's relationships with family members, and each parent's past compliance with parental responsibilities.
The mandatory parenting education requirement under 13 Del. C. § 1507(h) reflects Delaware's recognition that parental behavior significantly impacts child outcomes. Parents who complete this 6-8 hour course learn research-based strategies for minimizing harm to children during divorce. The course covers topics including how children of different ages experience divorce, effective co-parenting communication, and avoiding common mistakes that damage children.
Delaware Family Court also offers mediation services for parents who disagree on custody arrangements. Rule 16.3 of the Delaware Family Court Rules of Civil Procedure authorizes certified family law mediators to help parents develop parenting plans outside of court. Mediation typically costs less than litigation and allows parents greater flexibility in creating custody arrangements that work for their specific family situation.
Common Mistakes When Telling Children About Divorce
Research consistently identifies parental conflict as the single most damaging factor in children's divorce adjustment. Studies published in the Journal of Family Psychology found that children exposed to high levels of parental conflict during and after divorce have 2.5 times higher rates of depression and anxiety compared to children whose parents minimize conflict. Delaware Family Court considers each parent's ability to support the child's relationship with the other parent when making custody determinations.
Mistake 1: Blaming the other parent. Even if one spouse initiated the divorce or engaged in behavior that ended the marriage, sharing this information with children damages their relationship with that parent and increases their stress. Children benefit from loving both parents, and undermining that relationship harms the child more than it punishes the other parent.
Mistake 2: Using children as messengers. Asking children to relay information between parents puts them in an impossible position and forces them to navigate adult conflicts. Delaware Family Court views this behavior negatively when evaluating custody arrangements. Use direct communication with your co-parent, email, or co-parenting apps instead.
Mistake 3: Overwhelming children with details. Children do not need to know about financial disagreements, infidelity, or other adult issues. Sharing too much information burdens children with problems they cannot solve and may cause them to feel responsible for supporting the disclosing parent emotionally.
Mistake 4: Making promises you cannot keep. Avoid promising children that nothing will change or that the divorce will make everything better. Be honest about changes while emphasizing your commitment to supporting them through the transition.
Mistake 5: Having separate conversations. When possible, both parents should tell children about the divorce together. This demonstrates that parents can cooperate and prevents children from feeling they must choose sides or hear different versions of events.
Supporting Your Children After the Conversation
Research indicates that families typically need 2-4 years to stabilize after divorce. During this adjustment period, children benefit from consistent routines, open communication, and reassurance that both parents remain committed to them. The Delaware Family Court mandatory parenting education course provides specific strategies for supporting children during this transition.
Maintain consistent routines across both households when possible. Research from the Centers for Disease Control shows that children adjust better when bedtimes, rules, and expectations remain similar in both homes. While some differences are inevitable, parents should coordinate on major issues including discipline, screen time, and homework expectations.
Encourage children to express their feelings without judgment. Children may feel sad, angry, confused, relieved, or a combination of emotions. Validate their feelings by saying things like "It makes sense that you feel sad about this" or "I understand why you are angry." Avoid minimizing their emotions or rushing them to feel better.
Consider professional support for children who struggle with adjustment. Delaware Family Court maintains a list of approved mental health professionals who specialize in helping children cope with family transitions. Warning signs that a child may benefit from counseling include:
- Persistent changes in sleep or eating patterns lasting more than 2 weeks
- Declining grades or school avoidance
- Withdrawal from friends or activities they previously enjoyed
- Increased aggression, defiance, or risk-taking behavior
- Expressions of hopelessness or self-harm
Delaware Resources for Families Going Through Divorce
Delaware Family Court operates locations in all three counties and provides resources specifically designed to help families navigate divorce with children. New Castle County Family Court can be reached at (302) 255-0300, Kent County at (302) 672-1000, and Sussex County at (302) 855-7400.
The Children of Divorce Intervention Program (CODIP) provides group support for children experiencing parental separation. Research on this program demonstrates that participating children show reduced anxiety, improved communication with parents, and fewer misconceptions about divorce compared to non-participants. Contact your child's school counselor or local mental health center to find similar programs in Delaware.
Delaware provides fee waivers for divorcing parents who cannot afford the $175 filing fee. To qualify, you must complete Form 257P (Application to Proceed In Forma Pauperis) and demonstrate household income at or below 150% of the federal poverty level, approximately $23,940 for a single-person household in 2026. The mandatory parenting education course also offers reduced fees for qualifying families.
Long-Term Outcomes: What Research Shows About Children of Divorce
Meta-analyses examining 92 studies found that approximately 70% of children from divorced families showed lower wellbeing than children from intact families, though the effect size was relatively small at 0.14 standard deviations. This means that while divorce does create challenges, most children ultimately adjust successfully. The most significant factor in children's long-term outcomes is not the divorce itself but how parents handle the process.
Current research identifies maternal sensitivity, the home environment, and family income as the three factors most strongly associated with children's post-divorce adjustment. When these factors remain stable or improve after divorce, children's outcomes are substantially better. Delaware's equitable distribution system aims to ensure that children's financial needs remain met after divorce.
Approximately 75% of children experience temporary distress following parental divorce but adjust successfully within 2-4 years. The remaining 25% who experience long-term difficulties often come from families with high parental conflict, reduced contact with one parent, or significant economic decline. Delaware Family Court's emphasis on parenting education and mediation aims to reduce these risk factors.
Creating a Co-Parenting Plan That Supports Children
Delaware Family Court encourages parents to develop detailed parenting plans that address all aspects of children's lives. Under 13 Del. C. § 722, the court considers each parent's ability to work cooperatively in the child's best interests. A well-crafted parenting plan demonstrates your commitment to prioritizing your children throughout the divorce process.
Effective parenting plans address:
- Regular parenting time schedule (weekdays, weekends, alternating weeks)
- Holiday and school vacation schedules
- Transportation arrangements between households
- Decision-making authority for education, healthcare, extracurricular activities
- Communication methods between parents
- Process for resolving future disagreements
- Right of first refusal when the scheduled parent cannot be present
- Rules about introducing new romantic partners to children
Delaware Family Court mediators can help parents develop parenting plans when they cannot agree. Mediation costs less than litigation, preserves confidentiality, and gives parents more control over the final outcome. Decisions reached through mediation must still be reviewed by the court to ensure they serve the child's best interests under 13 Del. C. § 709.
Frequently Asked Questions
What is the best age to tell children about divorce?
No single age is universally best for telling children about divorce. Research indicates that children ages 6-11 often have the most difficulty processing divorce news because they are old enough to understand the concept but young enough to feel responsible. Regardless of age, all children benefit from learning about the divorce from both parents together, with age-appropriate language, and with adequate time before major changes occur. Delaware Family Court considers children's developmental stages when making custody determinations under 13 Del. C. § 722.
Should both parents tell the children together?
Yes, both parents should ideally tell children about the divorce together whenever safely possible. Joint conversations demonstrate parental cooperation, prevent children from hearing conflicting stories, and reduce the likelihood that children feel they must choose sides. The only exception is when domestic violence or safety concerns make joint conversations inadvisable. Delaware Family Court requires parents with domestic violence histories to attend separate parenting education courses.
How do I explain divorce to a 4-year-old in Delaware?
Use simple, concrete language focused on daily routine changes. Say: "Mommy and Daddy are going to live in two different houses. You will have a bedroom at each house. We both love you very much." Expect to repeat this conversation multiple times over several weeks. Preschoolers process information slowly and may ask the same questions repeatedly. Approximately 70% of children ages 2-5 exhibit regressive behaviors like bedwetting after learning about divorce, which is normal and temporary.
Does Delaware require parenting classes during divorce?
Yes, Delaware requires all divorcing parents with children under age 17 to complete a 6-8 hour parenting education course. This requirement is codified in 13 Del. C. § 1507(h). The course costs $50-$100 per parent and must be completed within 180 days of filing the divorce petition, or the case may be dismissed. The course covers how children experience divorce at different ages, effective co-parenting communication, and strategies for minimizing harm to children.
What if my child blames themselves for the divorce?
Directly and repeatedly reassure your child that the divorce is not their fault. Research shows approximately 80% of school-age children initially believe they caused or could have prevented the divorce. Use clear language: "This is absolutely not your fault. Nothing you did or said caused Mom and Dad to divorce." Continue this reassurance over time, especially when children express guilt. If self-blame persists beyond several months, consider professional counseling.
How long does it take children to adjust to divorce?
Research indicates that families typically need 2-4 years to stabilize after divorce, with most children showing significant adjustment within the first year. Approximately 75% of children experience temporary distress but adjust successfully. The remaining 25% who struggle long-term typically come from families with ongoing parental conflict, limited contact with one parent, or significant financial decline. Delaware's mandatory parenting education aims to reduce these risk factors.
Can children choose which parent to live with in Delaware?
Delaware courts consider children's custody preferences as one factor under 13 Del. C. § 722, but children cannot simply choose which parent to live with. The court gives greater weight to older children's preferences while considering all best-interest factors. Judges assess whether children's preferences reflect genuine wishes or undue influence from a parent. Delaware law explicitly prohibits courts from presuming either parent is better suited based on gender.
What should I avoid telling my children about the divorce?
Avoid sharing adult details including financial disputes, infidelity, legal strategies, or negative opinions about the other parent. Do not use children as messengers or ask them to spy on the other parent. Do not make children feel responsible for your emotional wellbeing or ask them to choose sides. Delaware Family Court considers a parent's willingness to support the child's relationship with the other parent when making custody determinations.
How do I handle my children meeting my new partner?
Wait until your divorce is finalized and your new relationship is stable before introducing children to a new partner. Research suggests waiting at least 6-12 months after separation before introducing romantic partners to children. When you do introduce them, keep initial meetings brief and casual, avoid physical affection in front of children initially, and never position the new partner as a replacement parent. Include these guidelines in your parenting plan if possible.
Where can I find support for my children in Delaware?
Delaware offers multiple resources for children experiencing parental divorce. Contact your child's school counselor about support groups or counseling services. Delaware Family Court can provide referrals to mental health professionals who specialize in children and family transitions. The Children of Divorce Intervention Program (CODIP) offers evidence-based group support that reduces anxiety and improves coping. Contact Delaware Family Court at New Castle County (302) 255-0300, Kent County (302) 672-1000, or Sussex County (302) 855-7400 for additional resources.